The Sensuality Temptation, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , leading to effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, love, and wellness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that numerous of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urban areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. Numerous gay guys wish to learn from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in click for source time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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